My Open Letter to All Cops:
Look, if you’re a cop, retired or have any vested emotional interest in law enforcement, you come to any of my platforms and feel the need to remind me of my status in law enforcement, let me go ahead and save you some time.
See, the thing is, unlike most cops, retired cops, ex-cops and what not, I will be the first to admit that police officers are a bunch of insecure, self righteous, pissed off men and women who think they have more power than actually given to them. And I was one of the worst of them all.
But between those who have wives and husbands nagging on you at home, the shit bags you deal with on the street, the media breathing down your neck and your command staff looking to bend you over and drive it in raw for one misspelled word in a report, cops are a bunch of disillusioned pawns who actually think that your name will outshine your badge number. The damn sad truth that none of them really see is how easily replaceable they are with anyone who’s willing to say two words, “yes, sir.”
Loved one day, hated by command the next. You’ve all seen it.
Am I salty, pissed off, disgruntled for what happened to me? Absolutely. I texted some pics of some dead bodies to an idiot who worked for me and was a holster sniffer and wanted to be a cop more than he wanted to be a navy seal. I wanted to share with him, what I did for a career and “relate” in some way. Bad choice on my end.
Do I regret sending the photos? Nope. I have done it my whole career, as my then FTO in 2001 (who’s now deputy chief) told me, “go out and get a disposable camera, so you can show your family and friends what you deal with.” Hell even the idiot who fired me has a whole phone, lap top and desk top filled with the most gruesome pictures you have seen that he would make sure he showed you when you were next to him, so he could tell you all about what he did on those cases.
But my decision got me in hot water and the man who was never a cop and just landed the job as chief of police because of his political pull, had it out for me because I was suing him for watching me piss in the bathrooms on camera. Is what it is. That’s what retaliation lawsuits are for and I refuse to settle or back down.
Some asshat, who never did a day of work in this job, dictated my career and I made the decision to fight, not resign, have my jacket sealed and move to another department. Some took the easy way out and did resign. I said, “fuck it. Fire me.”
Some of you out there know exactly what it is like to have that target on your back. And rest assured, the rest of you will know what it’s like at one point in your career. Happens to the absolute best of them.
“Izzo, you couldn’t make it as a cop!”
Thank God. Here’s what “making it” looks like:
Being 50 years old and not being able to retire yet because you need insurance for you (and you’re family if you have one) and having to stick around for another 5 years, at least while you find a part time job you can stomach, IF your department approves it.
Making it in law enforcement is working the same place for 20 plus years, bitching about the exact same crap, watching new guys come in who think they know it all, all while watching kiss asses get promoted to command which you’ll just complain about later that you should have gotten that rank, but you didn’t take the test and you look like an idiot for complaining…
Making it in law enforcement means coming to work every day wondering when command picks you as a target since their annual rotation of discipline is coming your way and you know it. Then you act completely shocked at how you could have done so much for a department to treat you with such disrespect; all the while it hits you that you stood by in complete silence for years and watched it happen to others.
Making it in law enforcement means that you have a nagging wife who bitches about your schedule and why you have to work on the holidays again this year, and you go to work pissed off, knowing that you’ll come home and won’t get any for a month now. Hell, you start to wonder if she’s stepping out behind your back, because those little holster sniffing badge bunnies that like you are starting to look good too.
Making it in law enforcement means being a female cop who scares off every man she dates because she’s so used to being the power top on the street with every man she pulls over, and wonders why every guy gets sick of her bullshit after 20 years on the job and not knowing how to interact with people on a human level.
Making it in law enforcement means 20 years of building an identity that only comes to life when you put on your super hero costume. Keeping your mouth shut because some guy who’s got a gold star to your silver star can make your life a living hell, so you take it out on those you interact with in the street.
And that’s when your inner self finally feels worth and the world gets to see you as you stand out with the word “police” printed on you. I mean, how else would they know who you are?
Making it in law enforcement means finally pulling the plug, having nowhere to go every day at roll call, seeing that the pension you busted your ass over for two decades is only enough if you live in a one bedroom apartment and eat oodles of noodles and get basic cable.
Making it in law enforcement is the exact same as ending your high school football years…
It was glorious at the time and you were elevated to god status by your fans, but rivaled by your own team mates.
And in the end, when you’re off the field and not even a coach or official, no one remembers you, you forgot all other aspects of your life and you find yourself at the local 7-11 as you walk past the new generation of cops and you find yourself saying, “I remember when…”
I loved being a cop, more than most anything. But it makes me feel sad for those who think the end of a journey isn’t really the end of their identity.
Keep telling me I couldn’t “make it as a cop”.
The joke is on you. I kept my identity. Your’s is still a series of numbers on your chest that will taken away from you and belong to someone else one day.
Serving the public isn’t the same as being a slave. But you’ll figure it out.
See, unlike you order takers who lost yourselves somewhere around year 5, right where the ideals of what you swore an oath to and that paycheck with massive security meet, you loved the concept of what you did all while bitching about it every single day. You know how I know this? Because I was surrounded by it and did it too.
But, I am not like most of you. No wife, no kids and a massive chip on my shoulder to prove a right and fight a wrong.
I loved the idea of what being a cop meant. Truth, the law, brotherhood, community, value. The very best of ourselves.
I challenged a mayor in one village, a chief in another and then deiced this last time that no one was going to take what I earned this last time.
But cops are cops and eat each other alive when their insecurities kick in and I have seen the truth behind that “brotherhood” and how easily that blue wall crumbles.
I have turned my back on others who needed it all because of the “blue group think” and absolute fear of department retaliation. And I regret every single time I didn’t fight.
So, when social media took us all by storm, and I was fortunate enough to have a voice, I used it. And trust me, it cost me more than you know.
The truth is, you can’t stand anything different than what you hope to be. Again, I was there. I felt that too.
In the animal kingdom, geese won’t associate with other geese who have been mutilated or disfigured. That goose is shunned and dies. Happens with cops too.
“Izzo, you’re a disgrace and got fired!”
Yep. Texted a picture of a man on all 4’s in the closet of his house, fully clothed and dead. Texted another picture of an 86 year old woman who suffocated in a pool of her own blood after having a ruptured upper GI.
I still have a picture album somewhere with car crashes, stabbings, a guy with his nose blows open and blood and snot all over, drunks passed out in ditches covered in vomit, a shooting or two and a bunch of great pictures of families, kids, events and more.
The disgrace side of me comes from the fact that I actually thought that the men and women I was fighting for in my department would stand with me when it came time to making the drastic move of fighting back.
But you see, that’s where I was the fool. They had wives, kids, pensions, mortgages, car payments, all things that I didn’t have to worry about. The ran out of fear faster than I would run to a free cheeseburger day at McDonald’s.
And in the end, the blue brotherhood is self-serving to those who are scared shitless of the only power they have ever known being taken away from them. And that power comes at a great cost. You lose who you are and your identity becomes “Officer”.
The only thing more powerful than a man or woman with the lawful authority to rip a person out of their home or car just because they can articulate it in a report, is the man or woman who can take away that authority just because they have a personalty conflict with them.
Gang, I was a full time cop and sworn in, in March of 2001, I have done it all, just like you, having worked in a town where the clientele consisted of the shit that Chicago and Milwaukee chased out as well as the most amazing men and women who truly understood the meaning of the word “community”.
I have seen the horror, cried on my drive home, hated every single aspect of mankind, used my badge to get women and cheat on my girlfriends, lied to myself about who I was and lost it all just to find myself again.
Cops eat other cops. I have seen it all too often in the face of saving one’s own ass.
So, when you come here and misspell your comments (I have no idea how some of you get your reports approved) and think that reminding me of my own trail of shit even compares to you… you are absolutely right. You do not compare to me at all.
I have spent far too long defending myself from a position that, sadly, one day you might face. And the countless men and women who contact me with their horror stories of department betrayal would scare the living shit out of you.
See, I got fired. I may go back, who knows as that’s up to lawyers, judges and God.
But until then, and even after then, you can hate me all you want for my mouth. You can call me a disgrace, an embarrassment, or whoever you need me to be to satisfy the anger you have for what you’re stuck in.
But I will still fight for you, because you represent all that is good in what we all loved doing. You are the warriors that we need. You are those that I look up to and hold my hopes highest for your success. Because without you, our way of life is chaos.
But, I will remind you, as you turn those corners in your squad, write those tickets, take those bullshit calls for service… you are still a slave to a system that can get rid of you any damn time they find a reason to. And all I want to do is make it so that the world sees your value.
I am arrogant. I am overcome with pride. I am absolutely self righteous and own every single aspect of it.
Hate me all you want. I am the only one who’s out here saying exactly what you can’t so long as you wear that badge.
And the moment I stop is the moment where I give up on all that I believe in you. I pray that never happens.
Be safe, go home to your families, and kindly, from the bottom of my heart, go fuck yourself if you have a problem with me.
After all, we are family, and family fights. 😉
- Izzo
